Celine--The Movie

Oh.... my .... God.

I just found out that the CBC (the "Canadian Broadcasting Corporation" for those non-Canadians out there) produced an unauthorized bio-pic about Céline Dion's life last year. Here is the trailer:

I don't even know where to begin.

Watching this film is even more cringe-inducing than watching the real Céline Dion (which I sincerely did not think was possible). Seeing Enrico Colantoni (star of the NBC series "Just Shoot Me" and a graduate of the Yale Drama School, no less) playing René, Céline's grandfather-like manager/husband, made me feel sorry for the world. And the woman playing Céline looks like her delicate, slightly prettier second-cousin. If that cousin were from Lebanon. (Not even close, people.)

I have already started growing my hair out so that I can play Céline's son, René-Charles, in the sequel.

May 30, 2008 | 0 comments

An "Only in New York" Moment

Yesterday, like most Sundays, I went to my Beginner's Jazz Dance class at the Broadway Dance Center because, in a nut shell, I like to keep it "butch."

(The guy on the right is not me. Although he's close.)

So, anyway, after my class, I've developed this sort of routine where I go straight to the Juice Generation on 9th Avenue, just north of West 45th, where I have a "Protein Buzz" shake with raspberries and an "Antioxidant" boost. (How's that for healthy?)

Now, in case you're not familiar with it (and you should be!), Juice Generation is kind of like an independent, mom-and-pop version of Jamba Juice, except much smaller and grittier. (The entire store is about 16 square feet, and it smells a lot like wheat grass.)

(This is not the Juice Generation on 9th and 45th. But it's similar.)

Anyhoo, I went about my little routine yesterday, as I do most Sundays, except this time, just as I was leaving the Juice Generation with my shake in hand, who should I see entering the 16-square-foot space, but none other than Frasier alumnus and Broadway divo, Mr. David Hyde Pierce!

(DHP headshot, circa 1987.)

Now, this is not as huge and cosmic a coincidence as it may appear at first glance. As much as I like to think there is such a thing as serendipity and fate, one can help these things along. And I did so, in this case, by sticking to the same routine every Sunday.

You see, DHP is currently starring as Lieutenant Frank Cioffi in what is (as far as I am concerned) an instant Broadway classic--Curtains, a fine show and, sadly, one of the final collaborations of the legendary musical theater writing team of Kander and Ebb.

"There's a special kind of people known as... Show People!"

Now, it just so happens that Curtains is playing at the Al Hirschfeld Theatre, on West 45th Street between 8th and 9th Avenues--basically around the corner from Juice Generation (and literally next door to my dance school). In fact, it's so close that I had already seen two other members of the cast in recent weeks, not to mention tons of stage crew, either at the Juice Generation or on my 1-minute stroll back to the subway on 8th Avenue after class.

As it turns out, my dance class happens to let out just as everyone in the show is arriving for their Sunday matinée. This obviously heightens, to a significant degree, the probability of bumping into a cast member of Curtains on any given Sunday, as they say, including Mr. Pierce, who is himself a member of that cast.

Nevertheless, I was pretty excited about the fact that I found myself buying a protein shake in the same little joint, and at the very same time, as a bona fide star of Broadway! (Not to mention TV and movies. Remember his supporting roles in Down With Love and Nixon? 'Nuff said.)

So I couldn't resist. I looked right at him and I said, "You know, I think I've seen just about every member of the cast of Curtains come in here at some point!" He smiled and said, "Well, we do have to fortify ourselves!" That's when I noticed he was wearing a blue denim jacket with a little Curtains logo on the front and a humongous Curtains logo on the back. So I said, "You know, I really loved the show. I even have the song Show People downloaded to my MP3 player, and I listen to it whenever I need to get motivated."

(Now, just as background, if you're not familiar with the show--and you should be!--the song Show People is a big show-stopper in which the entire ensemble, dressed to the nines, gets into line formation, while dancing and belting out a musical homage to the world of show business and, more specifically, to the sheer awesomeness of living the life of a performer. Ahhh! I get chills every time I hear it. AND it's funny! So suck it, Ben Brantley.)

Actual photo of Ben Brantley, New York Times theater critic and professional spreader-of-darkness.

Anyway, there I was, just letting DHP know that I often listened to the music from his show to get inspired, and that's when he made my day. He said, "Oh really? Are you in one of the shows, then?"

Beg your pardon? Was he asking if I was in one of the shows--one of the Broadway shows? Was he asking if... I was a Broadway actor? It took me a moment to process what he meant by that question... And I finally realized, yes, YES! David Hyde Pierce was asking me if I was in a Broadway show!

Holy crap.

I was speechless. And my heart was beating so hard, I thought it might explode.

After what seemed like ages, I finally managed to pull myself together, and I mumbled, "Well, uhm, no... not yet! But I'm trying!"

He smiled and wished me luck, and I wished him a broken leg for that day's matinée.

And with that, I dashed out the door with a Raspberry-Protein-Buzzed shake in my hand, and a major buzz in my head. (And it wasn't the antioxidants!)

Just another example of why I can't seem to give up my addiction to this crazy town we call New York.

Mar 31, 2008 | 0 comments

Carla Bruni, Former Supermodel, Reduced to Wearing a Pill-Box Hat

Elizabeth: "Excuse me, miss, but I believe the other stewardess forgot my carry-on bag."
Carla: "Je m'excuse, your Majesty, but I am not a stewardess. I am the First Lady of France."
Elizabeth: "Oh, I see. Well, could you fetch my carry-on bag anyway?"

Mar 26, 2008 | 0 comments

A Travel Vlog from San Francisco (Part III)

In this third, and final, installment, Darren and I present Fisherman's Wharf and Alcatraz prison (as well as demonstrate the importance of knowing at least a little actual information about the landmarks that you are supposed to be presenting).

Mar 9, 2008 | 0 comments

A Travel Vlog from San Francisco (Part II)

The San Francisco adventure continues in this video log. Darren and I got brunch in the Castro, but we could not have prepared ourselves for what was in store. I'll let the video speak for itself. Enjoy.

Mar 5, 2008 | 0 comments

A Travel Vlog from San Francisco (Part I)

Last weekend, I visited San Francisco for the first time. I flew out to L.A. on a Thursday night, where I met up with Darren (a boy from out there I'm seeing), and the next morning, we drove up the 101 from L.A. in his New Beetle convertible (nice!) to spend the weekend in San Fran.

It was a LOOOONG drive, but worth it in the end. It was my first time in Central California, and it was just gorgeous. We stopped for lunch in Wine Country, in a little town called Solvang, which is Danish for "Forest Hills, Queens, But Cuter, and with Mountains."

Darren and me, in front of a Danish bakery in Solvang, California. (Great coffee, Solvang!)

Look at those mountains! (But what's with me and the coffee?)

We finally got to San Francisco late Friday night. We had dinner in the Castro (aka, "Gayville") and didn't really start exploring the city until the next morning. But, oh, what a city it is--really steep hills, with a lot of Victorian-style, low-rise (or as I like to put it, non-"sky-rise") buildings, and evidently, very, very cold, damp weather in February, as you will see from this video log. (You will also see that, for some reason, I styled my hair that day like Gordon Gekko in the movie "Wall Street.")

Mar 1, 2008 | 0 comments

Big time, girlfriend!

For those of you who think I made up or might have exaggerated the whole inappropriate "soul sister" thing that Celine does, check out this video. She actually turns to Sherri Shepherd (the young black woman on The View) at 1:08 and sings "Ooh-woo, girlfriend!" Then, at 7:01, in response to a question from Whoopi Goldberg (the older black woman on The View), Celine prefaces her answer by saying, "Well, listen, girl!"

I'm cringing. Big time, girlfriend.

Jan 23, 2008 | 0 comments

Celine is Back!

I had to take a moment from my day to acknowledge the sheer immensity of Celine Dion's hair on her new CD cover:

Looks like that daily Pantene treatment is really paying off!

BEFORE AFTER

As you may know, I have a slight obsession with the French-Canadian chanteuse. And I must admit, her latest CD has not let me down. My two favorites, so far, are the first-released (and eponymous) single, "Taking Chances," whose video is another classic Celine trainwreck (check out the police cap and the heavy mascara, and then brace yourself for the "surprise" twist at the end--eat your heart out, Hitchcock!) and her cheese-tastic cover of Heart's "Alone." (The music box intro music kills me! And I especially love it when, in the making-of video, she says her "family grew up with Heart--dat kinda' music." Really, Celine? You and your sister Manon listened to Heart in 1980's Charlemagne, Quebec?)

And if you haven't seen this You Tube video that someone created by cleverly editing clips of Celine's recent "behind-the-scenes" DVD--you're welcome. (It's happens to be a great example of what I mean when I say that Celine writes my material herself!)

Jan 12, 2008 | 0 comments

A Hot Christmas

This year, I spent Christmas (aka "Tuesday" to us Jews) in Los Angeles. Here is a picture of the Regent Beverly Wilshire Hotel--the hotel in Beverly Hills where Julia Roberts stayed in "Pretty Woman"--as I whiz past it:

This is me ordering breakfast at the "counter" downstairs at yet another iconic L.A. location--the Beverly Hills Hotel:

(You can't see them in this picture, but just off to my right, there were these two middle-aged guys with thick Eastern European accents and unwieldy hair doing a movie deal. I swear. Here is an idea of what they looked like.)

And this is my date, Darren, behind the wheel of his convertible, just as we are driving past Rodeo Drive on a perfectly sunny, Beverly Hills afternoon.

Told you it was a hot Christmas.

Dec 27, 2007 | 0 comments

Oatmeal Cookies Are Delicious, But Gay

Yesterday, I woke up feeling very "Martha Stewart," so I decided to spend all afternoon making a batch of four dozen oatmeal-raisin cookies from scratch.

Do you think straight guys ever do things like that?

I rest my case.

Nov 25, 2007 | 0 comments

A Prince and His Queen: Today vs. 1969

So you may have heard this morning that Charles O. Prince III was ousted as Chairman of Citigroup yesterday. Here is a picture of Prince, with his queen, Skadden, Arps attorney Peggy Wolff, at some black-tie event in New York City, back in the happier days of 2006.

So blah.

Now here is a picture of Prince Charles and his queen, Elizabeth II, circa 1969.

I mean, look at those fabrics! Those hair-dos! That weird, pointy thing sticking out of Prince Charles's breast pocket!

When it comes to style, there's just no comparison—1969 rules.

Nov 5, 2007 | 0 comments

Live from the Apple Store--It's Stephen Colbert!

Tonight, my journalist friend Neil invited me to a special event at the Apple Store in Soho, where Stephen Colbert (one of my real-life idols) was appearing live to read from his new book, "I Am America! (And So Can You!)."

The book is available in "book" format, but since it is the year 2007 and we were at the Apple Store, it's also available in "audio-book" format as a downloadable track from iTunes. (You can't get Stephen to autograph a downloadable audio file, however--I found that out the hard way.)

After reading several (hi-LAR-ious!) excerpts from his book, the Colb-inator actually broke character and became plain old Stephen C., the humble comedian. It was riveting, as I had never seen him out of character before. He was then interviewed by some dude named Jesse in a tweed jacket. (Apparently Jesse hosts some Apple podcast or something--I wouldn't really know, as I don't speak "computer-geek-ese.") After the interview, there was a Q&A session, and I got to ask Stephen a question (the last question of the night, actually--lucky me). I prefaced my question by noting that Stephen had come to prominence as a performer relatively late in life ("Not that you're old," I added, which got a laugh from the crowd, and a faux-rebuke from Stephen to "Watch it!"); I then asked, "How did you stay motivated during the lean years?" He paused for a split second, and then said "Fear. It's a great motivator. And medications help too." He got a HUGE laugh, naturally.

Take that, bears.

Oct 17, 2007 | 0 comments

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