A Letter to David Sedaris

Dear David,

My ex-boyfriend loved your books. I think he had read every single one of them, probably several times. He used to go on and on about how "David Sedaris is a comic genius," "David Sedaris makes my heart sing with joy," "David Sedaris can bend a metal bar with his mind," etc., etc.

So, anyway, after he dumped me, anything he loved, I hated.  Like pork, and the color orange.  Then again, maybe I hated pork because I'm Jewish.  I'm not sure.  But the point is, for years I simply refused to try anything that he liked.  A sort of "rejection by association," if you will.  And that included anything written by David Sedaris. 

However, after letting a number of years go by and working through a lot of the baggage (thank you therapy!), I recently let my friend Shawn persuade me to give up my David Sedaris boycott.  He suggested I read Me Talk Pretty One Day because I was looking for an unusual monologue for an audition I was doing. The show I was auditioning for was a quirky little one-act play about a gay writer, and Shawn had cleverly figured out that the first-person narrative and biting tone of Me Talk Pretty One Day would be perfect for the role that I was trying out for. I ended up choosing an excerpt from "Twelve Moments in the Life of the Artist" as my monologue, and I got some big laughs--all of the credit for which must go to you.

Which brings me to the reason for this letter.  I just wanted to say, David Sedaris--you truly are a comic genius. While reading Me Talk Pretty One Day, I have caught myself laughing out loud many a time, even in the subway. Out LOUD, I tell you!  And, believe me, that does not happen often.  Mainly because, up until now, I usually just read old Learning Annex catalogues in the subway.

One time, I was reading your book in the subway, and I laughed so hard that everyone else in the subway car started staring at me.  They just stared and stared, and made surly frowns. Can you believe that?  Just because I was enjoying your book!  

Or maybe they were staring because I was eating these garlicky fried noodles that stank to high heaven. Can't say for sure.  



But one thing I can say for sure--Me Talk Pretty is brilliant!  I can't wait to read your other books.  And I'm thrilled that you are writing for the New Yorker now.  I'm actually considering signing up for a subscription.  (I'll just be sure to skip over the really serious, long-winded fiction pieces.)

So thank you for creating such funny, insightful, and inspiring stories.

All my best,

Robert 

P.S. It turns out, I also really like bacon, so screw my ex-boyfriend.